Work Life-Balance
So many of you have asked that we feature a post on how to manage the demands of work and life. We feel the same way! We asked our friend, Michelle Loretta of Sage Wedding Pros, to give us some sage advice on how to tip the scales in our favor.
What Is Work-Life Balance?
Work-Life balance is a myth. People who appear to be good at balancing their work and their personal lives are REALLY good at prioritizing. Prioritizing is knowing what’s urgent and/or important at any given moment. It is choosing to do one thing and choosing NOT to do another thing. This means that you sometimes choose work over your life and other times you choose life over your work. These choices are all intentional. And, when someone has good “work-life balance” it’s because they are good at making these choices.
Choosing Work Over Life
Because we are entrepreneurs we LOVE what we do. We love it so much that we often pick work over other things in our life. We put our personal needs aside to make our career goals come true. But, after time we start to feel off kilter, off balance.
I hear a lot of people say that they are up late working every night. I completely understand this if you have a big event in the next few days or a deadline coming up. But, there are some people who do this all the time. (I know because I’ve been there. I was a workaholic too.) It’s easy to think that you have no control over this. You have so many things to do that you have to stay up all hours. But, that’s a fallacy. You do have control over this.
When we do this we are making a choice. We are CHOOSING to work. You have the ability to choose how you spend your time. And if you work 60-80 hour weeks, you are making a choice to do so.
Learning to Say “NO.”
Often we feel out of balance because we have so many things coming at us. We have thousands of request from clients. We have hundreds of invitations from colleagues. If you want to gain better control of your time, you need to say “No.” And, you need to say it a lot. You fear that by saying “no” you’ll be less likeable. I totally disagree. If someone is too busy to meet with me or do a favor I requested, I respect their time. And, furthermore, they seem strong and wise to me. They know their time commitments and they know how to make choices with their time.
People who are good at balancing say “no” a lot.
“No” doesn’t have to mean “no” forever. For example, when Naomi wanted me to write this here blog post, I initially told her “Not right now – but I’d be happy to do so in August when my schedule lightens up.” I love the TWIPs community and wanted to contribute, but it was just not in my bandwidth in July. And, here I am now, in a much better place to say “Yes. I’d love to!”
Make Rules For Yourself
People who are best at prioritizing make rules for themselves. Ali Phillips of Engaging Events by Ali takes every Sunday as her family day. Kelly Simants of Sweet Pea Events takes Mondays off on the weekends where she has worked a wedding. I turn off all electronics at 6:30pm.
We have to make these rules or work can start to creep into every minute of our day. Making these rules puts us in control. It forces us to choose life over work. And, it results in much better balance.
Prioritizing Takes Willpower
It is NOT easy to say yes to one thing and no to another. It requires an incredible amount of restraint and willpower.
I will be totally honest here, turning off all electronics at 6:30pm every night is SO DIFFICULT. I want to be tweeting with people and texting. Sometimes I fail at my rule. And, sometimes, I’m really good at it. It takes strength for me to decide that evenings are for family. Evenings are for relaxation.
But after a while, you start to see results and it solidifies the rules. You start to enjoy life. You start to enjoy it more than work. And, it’s easier to have willpower.
Embracing Life Over Work
Like I said, as entrepreneurs we love what we do so it’s normal for us to choose work over life. But, year after year of doing this will cause burnout. Let’s be real, sometimes our work-life ratio will be 90-10, sometimes 50-50. Balance is a myth. All we can do is make choices with how we spend our time. And, if you want your work-life ratio to be closer to 50-50, you need to be intentional with how you choose to spend your time.
Michelle Loretta is a consultant for wedding and event professionals and writes daily for the Sage Wedding Pros’ business blog.
Check out their business planning workshops and coaching for wedding pros at http://www.sageweddingpros.com/thesimpleplan/
26 Comments
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Great post Michelle, I’ve always prided myself on keeping a balance, making time to spend with my husband and son but then I hear people working all hours and wonder if I’m doing somthing wrong-should I be working more? would my business be more succesful if I did? then I remind myself that I don’t want to burn out and work all hours, my journey/success may be slower but it is a choice you make and I’ve made it.
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Thank you so much for sharing!! During busy times of the year, like now, this is just what I need to hear
Thanks so much for the wonderful advice, Michelle! I really needed to read this and this post came at the perfect time. It’s so true that balance is a myth and that we just need to learn how to prioritize and manage our time. I am feeling so encouraged after reading this!
Wow! Thanks everyone for all the fab comments! Busy season (summer, for most) is the hardest time to achieve balance. Small bites can really help! Do what you can to be intentional with small chunks of personal time.
such great advice – truly helpful
xoxo, chrissy
The Perfect Palette
A fab post, thank you Michelle! I am also a blogger struggling to balance with full time ‘day’ job and personal life so I will definitely be implementing some of these tips – particularly saying no and remembering to turn technology completely off sometimes (I’m a sucker for trying to blog and ‘spend time’ with my man in front of the telly at the same time, it just doesn’t work)!! xx
This post rocks my world! Thanks for sharing!
The right words at the right time! Thank you! Trying to handle a day job, the blog, and family isn’t the easiest, and as I try to squeeze in more and more sometimes I wonder if I’m going to crack. When I was working FT I had strict rules so that I wouldn’t give up to those habits that actually make me feel better and refreshed. Now I work for myself and I’m breaking all those rules! Time to regain some control and be disciplined about my working hours! Thank you for reminding us of the importance of maintaining that work-life balance… xx
A perfect post Michelle! I am actively trying to work on this, set limits, say no, and make down time just as much of a priority as work time!
Thank you for your wise advice. I’m often working into the early hours and find it very draining. From now on I will be trying my best to limit my late nights to those times when I really need to {as you say, for a deadline} not make a habit of it!
Michelle you already know how I feel about your advice and how I follow your blog…thank you so much for sharing your sage advice with us. It’s so important to say, “NO” sometime, and it is so important to have to have the willpower. I am going to try to stick to turning off my electronics..try!
Loved this and I really needed some great advise as I tackle moving my business and family overseas! Wonderful article! Thanks for bringing Michelle over to give us some amazing advice!
Such great words of wisdom! Prioritizing is key. Such a helpful post Michelle!! A good reminder for everyone to read!
This is such good advice! It’s ALL about prioritizing. I’m working on getting better at saying no
So glad to hear I’m not the only one who struggles with the balancing act! When a lot of what we do is online – it’s hard to put away the laptop sometimes!
Such great advice, thanks for sharing! I struggle constantly with my full time job in advertising, my wedding planning company, and my personal life, so I’ll definitely try to put these rules into place!
Awesome post. I always love your advice Michele! Having a day or a time each day when you turn everything off is a fantastic idea. And I think you’re so right- and it’s nice to hear!- that there isn’t a perfect balance for everyone, it’s about making the choices that are best for YOU and for your family.
this is all so true, especially the prioritizing part. put away the distractions, like facebook and twitter – carve out time specifically for those distractions and you’ll be able to get more done in less time, too!
love the advice
Great post!! It was a wonderful read, and well timed with fall wedding season just around the corner. Thanks so much for posting!
Ahhh this couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! Thanks for sharing your insight on this. I’m trying to balance a lot right now and trying to figure out how to make it all work! Like the others, I’ll be making some rules tonight! =)
Thank you so much for this blog post and making time to write it!! You bring up great points and also love the idea of making sure you give yourself a WORK-FREE day.
Michelle, thank you for your sound advice! This is so important for everyone in the industry to hear!!!
Thank you Michelle for such wonderful advice, and such great timing! i’m finding it hard to balance a ‘real’ job, wedding blog and family time, but am trying hard. Now I will be implementing some new rules, and learning to say no a bit more,.although no doubt I will find it hard!
Michelle always has wonderful advice! I’m so happy she was able to contribute to the TWIPS blog!