Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot about setting boundaries and why it is OK to simply say “no” or, “I am sorry, I can’t help you.” Many of us have a problem saying no and setting boundaries because we feel by doing so, we maybe perceived as uncooperative or unsympathetic.  What if not saying no is costing you money or causing you to neglect your family or business? If you are always saying yes, when will you have time for your personal growth or your businesses’ ? The answer is by setting boundaries and expectations.

I have had an issue with this in my own business life…and in the wedding industry it happens all the time. In the past there has been countless times that I wished I set boundaries with my clients. Failing to do so not only cost me time, it also cost me money. Yes, the wedding industry is an emotional one but the business of running your business should not be. Setting boundaries is not saying you can’t be flexible. It means that you respect your time, your commitments, and that you are running a business, not something you do on the side. If you are constantly trying to meet the needs of others you will constantly neglect your very own or worst, the needs and expectations of a paying client.

Setting boundaries is empowering and allows you to focus on all the areas of your life that need your attention. Saying yes to everything means you are neglecting one or more areas in your life. When you are constantly fulfilling the needs of others, it is usually at the expense of other people like your clients, your husband, and your children.

Setting boundaries also allows you more time in the day to get things done. I’ll give you a personal example. We can all agree that chit chat is a time sucker, right? All of us have had super long consultations that before we knew it, turned into a three two hour coffee date with our new best friend. We spent an hour talking about our services and the other hour just flew by talking about everything but you planning her wedding. You can’t afford to do that. Especially with a person who has yet to retain your services! For me two hours adds up to $250 based on my hourly rate. That extra hour could have been spent scheduling vendor visits, answering information requests, working on a proposal, or meeting another couple. Time is money. Stop giving both away!

Here’s how I’ve personally remedied the two hour consultation. When a couple contacts me regarding my services, I suggest a day and time for us to meet. I let them know that a one hour consultation is complimentary. With a confirmed date and time on the calendar, at the end of the call I say, “Thank you again for contacting me! I’ll see you on June 2 at 9 AM for a one hour consultation.” I’ve just, in a nice way, reinforced that this meeting is an hour no more no less. I even go a step further by emailing an invitation request {via Outlook} that displays the meeting start and end time. I also try to schedule another meeting at least forty minutes after so that I am forced to use that one hour wisely.

Here are a few tips and suggestions on setting boundaries:

Create policies for your business and stick to them. That would include your office hours, specific days you conduct consultations, etc. Let your clients know when you are available and when you are not.  Every business has business hours.  Set them and stick to it.

Work with due dates. I create for each couple a date specific twelve month timeline/checklist that also includes payments and collateral due dates. I also schedule an email reminder that automatically gets sent to my clients five days prior to any due date. I do this to respect the boundaries and policies that other vendors have in place for their business. Having a due date is setting a boundary.

Practice saying no right now. You will be asked to do something in the next 24 hours that you really do not want to do or really do not have the time to carry out. Graciously, say “no”. Once you start respecting your time and limitations others will too. Be prepared; some may question your response. Keep your answer short and simple like “I simply do not have the time” or whatever response is fitting.

Stick to your boundaries. Let’s say you have decided that you will not answer work emails after 5:30 PM but you sometimes do. Now as a result of this your clients will think that they have access to you at all time and will continue to expect your response after hours. Being true to your word not only pertains to others but to yourself as well.

Those are a few of my tips that have worked for me. Have you created boundaries in your life? Has saying no been a problem for you? What have you done to stick your boundaries?

Naomi is the founder of  Twitter Wedding Inspirational Pals and a wedding planner and event designer in San Diego, California.